Today it is 2011.

January 2, 2011

i don’t post here ever–even though every time i do post, i say it will be the beginning of a new streak of consistent posting. but since my last post in november and now, i figure that it’s been long enough to write something and also, because it’s january 2, 2011, which means that the timing is totally right for a retrospective or a hopeful little something  about the future and stuff. so anyhow.

i guess, first i’ll start with my 2010 summary: started kinda crappy, segued into slightly less crappy, but still pretty annoying and lame, then it sort of pushed forward a bit more deliberately and coasted quite pleasantly for a bit and then ended pretty fucking merrily. so that’s rad. job’s great, family’s great, friends are great, i’m great. just everything is great. great great great. though i try not to pay too much attention to my inner monologue, the nostalgic gaze back on the year and how very different 12/31/2009 and 12/31/2010 were is daunting… just very different nights and thoughts and people and places and everything. so the great great great way the year ended is good. and it’s neat to see a positive change over a year’s time.

so now it’s the second day of 2011 and i’m kinda meh. it’s probably a combination of the PMS, the post-drinking blues, and the fact that i’m slightly disatisfied, but i’m feeling a little more pensive today. this year is going to bring a lot of changes–changes that i already know about and the changes that will inevitably pop up along the way, unplanned and surprising.

and given the changes that i know are going to occur, i feel like i really just need to get out of here and like, make some grandiose plan or goal to work towards. and where does my head (and heart, to an extent) go straight to when i get the restless-i-gotta-leave-now feeling? chicago. obviously.

i spent my day looking through Flickr images of chicago and then i started to watch  I Am Trying to Break Your Heart and then i started looking at job listings and apartment listings in chicago. i finally had to cut myself off. i haven’t been restless like this for chicago in ages, so it’s unsettling. i’m now wondering if that should be the goal: Move back to Chicago by December 31, 2012.

the thought of moving back both terrifies and exhilarates me. it makes my heart swell with a few different feelings. but i think the reality is that it could truly be coming up on the right time to try again out there.

bah. something to meditate on.

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