I Hate…

January 28, 2011

i’m in a real peach of a mood today. it blew in from nowhere and i was all sorts of weird. irrational, chaotic, overly sensitive, agitated… just basically full of piss and vinegar. normally, i would try to swallow it, hide it away, suppress it. but not tonight. i’m going to indulge it. the same way i just indulged in cheese fries and a soda. (take THAT, low carb healthy diet!). so without further ado…

1. I hate when a woman refers to her husband as her “hubby.”

2. I hate the framed 3D sonogram my coworker has on her desk of her unborn child.

3. I hate children in the workplace.

4. I hate being pushed for answers.

5. I hate my neighbor for allowing his gigantic Rottweilers to sit in outside and bark from 6am to God knows when.

6. I hate being told I should drink tea. I hate tea. I’m not going to drink it. It’s pretty cut and dried.

7. I hate when someone says “for all intents and purposes.” It’s nails on a fucking chalkboard.

8. I hate when people think I don’t know what I’m talking about when it comes to my job.

9. I hate females who perpetuate stereotypes of women being insecure about appearances.

10. I hate everything.


…but, i have a secret. a confession really.

I cannot wait to be like, in love and stuff. So many of my friends are and it sounds so rad. Seriously. Good stuff happenin’ there and I want in!!!

Also, I know I’m getting older and wiser because at one point in my life, being around serious, committed, monogamous couples was a total drag. Now, I really truly love to be around young couples who are just so right for each other. As grandma-y as this probably sounds: It’s so refreshing to see young people (ie, my friends) coupled up with seemingly perfect sig o’s. I really really love it. When I meet a new couple, I size them up a bit and in an instant I can tell if they’re one of the couples I’ll love and want to third-wheel around with.

And lastly, so as not to lead my readership into the misconception that I am, in fact, NOT a bitter old hag, what with these confessions of love and hope and joy…

Best Friend Forever is getting married in September. I dedicate this to her and Best Friend Forever Fiance.

I’ll be single gal by the bar, double fisting Pinot Grigio.